Saved
By Sylvester “Sonny” Lawrence Jackson II
This is the first of two special dispatches by two of our members, one of whom we know well and the other of whom is a newer member of the Re/Creation collective. Both of these amazing writers (and people!) are residents at the Exodus Transitional Community facility in Fresh Meadows, Queens for people coming home from incarceration. In fact, both will attest that without the safe space provided by Exodus, with a room of their own in which to live, write, and recover from the trauma of criminal punishment, they would not be in the position to share their words with us. With this in mind, both of them wanted to write dispatches about their experiences with Exodus. The first is by longtime favorite Sonny Jackson.
My family moved to New York from Alabama when I was nine. There were two reasons, my best friend was killed, hit by a train in front of my eyes, and my older sister needed help taking care of five kids, my nieces and nephews. I had never lived in a big city, but I immediately fell in love with New York.
Fast forward to 19, when I joined the United States Marine Corps. In 1982 I was outside of Beirut, Lebanon. The First Lebanon War raged. A suicide bomber ran the front gate and killed 247 sleeping Marines.
This event changed my life. I went into a state of depression. I still suffer from PTSD, which began my alcohol and drug use. The result was many years of incarceration and homelessness. Just before the pandemic started, near the end of my time on parole, 71 days left in fact, my parole officer decided to send me back to an upstate prison for dirty urine. A charge I tried to fight. I began 37 years of sobriety while in prison, and I continue to stay completely clean and sober.
I’ve learned that you can fight the system, but you never beat the system. So even with the help of my family, college professors, and classmates, not even mattering that I was dying from stage-four prostate cancer, I was sent back to the mountains for the last 71 days of my probation.
The place I lived belonged to an old high school friend who sold it before I came home. My ex-wife, along with my friend, Professor John Proctor, worked diligently to find a place for me to come home to. They contacted one of my nieces, who agreed to allow me to stay with her for a short time. I’ve never asked any member of my family for anything. I was absolutely against moving in with my niece, but in order to leave prison, you need a verifiable address where you’ll be living.
I left prison and returned home. On my first night returning home, still not wanting to live with my niece, I slept in a 24-hour laundromat during a rain storm. Finally, I decided that being homeless with stage four cancer in a laundromat wasn’t such a good idea. Reluctantly, I moved in with my niece. It was one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made. My niece was moving out of state. I found myself homeless again, now at the beginning of the pandemic.
My professor, John Proctor, and classmate, Ms. Carolina Soto, found a program called Exodus, a New York based non-profit transitional housing community that helps formerly incarcerated individuals return to the community while seeking permanent housing.
I reside at the Wyndham Garden Hotel in Fresh Meadows, Queens, New York. The Exodus and the hotel staff have been kind and professional in all regards, including my medical needs. I am getting two meals a day now. Instead of looking for a place to sleep each night, I have my own room and can sleep each night in my bed stress-free. I am forever grateful for their kindness and diligence.
Sylvester “Sonny” Jackson is a writer and retired Marine. As many of you know, Sonny is one of the most important members of our writing workshop for people returning from incarceration.