Should We Be Surprised?, by Channing Smith
George Floyd’s high school jersey mural in Houston, TX. Artwork by Jonah Elijah.
April 20th, 2021 will go down in history as another one of those days when you remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when something happened. I was on Parsons Boulevard crossing the bridge going over Grand Central Parkway in Queens, NY. I was just coming back from the tailors with my newly fitted dress shirt in tow. Suddenly, I heard screaming and more honking than usual coming through my headphones. Sound just seemed to erupt right from under the city pavement. In the back of my mind, I remembered that the verdict of Derek Chauvin trial was being read today but I made the choice to not watch it live. The city has a funny way of speaking to you when something must be made known to you.
“Such a deep weight has been lightened, but not lifted.”
I’m not of the generation of the OJ Simpsons, Latasha Harlinses, or the Rodney Kings, but I am well aware of the history. I am well aware that these instances are just blips in the trauma that lives within every Black person in this country. I am well aware that the criminal justice system works exactly the way it was set up to.The system has no real interest in bringing forth justice for those who experience the most harm, and is, in fact, invested in destroying Black lives.
“I’m so happy I was wrong.”
9 minutes and 29 seconds is how long it took Derek Chauvin to end the life of George Floyd.
“Wow, guilty on all charges.”
I could not stomach watching a man be murdered in broad daylight. Black people saw a Black man being murdered on camera. You are surely in America, if we as a country have to also sit through a televised trial trying to prove something we already saw happen.
“There was too much against Chauvin and yet here we all are surprised.”
Black people are beyond tired. Black people are beyond upset. Black people are beyond enraged.
“I’m happy he was found guilty, just tired of getting my hopes up I guess.”
I can’t say that I feel like justice was served because what does that word even mean anymore. I am not hopeful that a guilty verdict will put policy reform in action because I don’t believe that policy reform will change the unjust criminal system of this country. Abolishing the police, for me, is the only feasible goal going forward. I hope Derek Chauvin is not made out to be an example of “what not to do as a cop,” because he is not the first person caught murdering a Black person on camera and because of the way the country views Black people - he will not be the last.
“SO ELATED!”
I will admit I am having a hard time finding the sliver of happiness in this verdict, although I want to validate those who feel happiness about this outcome. I am happy that George and his family will now know a bit of peace.
Black men like George Floyd deserve to grow old in this country. Black children like Latasha Harlins and Ma’Khia Bryant deserve to have a childhood. Black women like Breonna Taylor deserve to rest peacefully in their own home.
Right now, it is about more than marching with cardboard signs and writing non-accessible academic thinkpieces, it is about dismantling oppressive systems through tangible action such as voting, community involvement, and pursuing truth in all of its forms. Once this country faces the truths about its own man-made horrors, we will no longer be able to live under the lies that have kept us underneath the tip of quill that wrote this country into existence. The fight to ensure the life and legacy of Black people is not something I ever thought I’d have to fight for, but it will be the fight of my life.
A Black Lives Matter mural in front of Jack Yates High School in Houston, TX. Artwork by Jonah Elijah.
Channing Smith is an emerging documentary filmmaker. After finishing her undergraduate studies in December 2021, she plans to work at the crux of artistry, race, and social justice.