“Where the Fuck Is Antonio?”
As always seems to be the case, a lot has happened since my last update on Antonio Battle. In the time since his parole officer visited my home, Antonio fled the Kingsboro Treatment Center after they refused to let him pick up his ID without an escort, had what appears to have been a minor heart attack on a sidewalk somewhere in the city, was taken to a hospital for emergency heart surgery before being released the next day to New York Presbyterian Westchester residential home in White Plains, was released from there within a week when they found he had no way to pay for the stay, went homeless and became suicidal enough to jump in front of moving traffic, was picked up by police and taken the place he is now, the psychiatric ward of a hospital he has asked me not to disclose, and is now planning to turn himself in to his parole officer, whom he has not contacted for over two weeks and who probably has an active warrant out on him. When he called me this past Friday, I hadn’t heard from him in those two weeks.
My college semester has been over for almost a month now, so I’ve been really digging into my own work. I’ve been submitting a manuscript of micro essays to small publishers, mapping out chapters for a book on this work in the carceral system, and spending more and more time in my friend and colleague Adam’s basement studio recording and envisioning a podcast around the work. So when Antonio called on Friday, my continued distress at his situation was tempered by the determination, now that we’re recording so much, to get his voice recorded telling his own story. I’ve been telling Adam about Antonio for weeks, and he’s on this mailing list so he hears about him here too, so he suggested I have a recorded phone call with Antonio to get his story unfiltered by my literary imagination.
We had some trouble scheduling around his “treatment” at the place he’s currently staying, but I finally got Antonio on the phone for an hour or two on Monday, and he was gold. Besides reciting three pieces from memory, he told his story, we got to just talk for awhile, and he reassured even me that, while he sometimes goes into his own dark places where no one can get to him, he always comes back. And he has faith that this is not the end.
I also got to visit him yesterday at the facility where he’s staying to get him some fresh shoes, a change of clothes, and a slice and a coffee. While he doesn’t like where he is, he’s determined to turn himself in and present his story to his parole officer, in the hopes the his P.O. will follow the course of rehabilitation rather than punishment. He also made a point to tell all y’all something: “I know you been asking, folks who read your updates probably been asking, ‘Where the fuck is Antonio?’ Alls I can say is, This is my journey, and we don’t know the end. But this is not the end.”
Re/Creation is now running a fundraiser from July 12-31 with limited edition t-shirts and coffee mugs featuring Antonio Battle’s work. Please considering buying one (or more!). All funds will go to Antonio as he continues to struggle and strive in his work and in his reentry.