Who do you love?

Dec 3

By Marvin Wade, Spiritual Activist

On May 7, 2021 I wrote a dispatch for the Re/creation website titled, "Why do I fear the vaccine more than the virus?" This essay was an extensive look into the reasons I was choosing not to take the vaccine.

On October 15, 2021 my employers decided they were now going to be mandating we all become vaccinated. We were given until December 18th to be fully vaccinated or face termination. One of my coworkers angrily stomped out of the meeting upon hearing this news. Never to be seen again. I was angry but not too surprised by the announcement. I sorta thought it was inevitable that we would all eventually be mandated to take the vaccine. I watched over the months after writing my essay throughout NYC, employees within other companies and establishments, as well as state and city workers were slowly being mandated to take the vaccine or face termination. I knew it would only be a matter of time before this mandate would "infect" me at my place of employment.

On October 20, 2021 I took my first vaccine shot. I felt at this moment the same as I felt for 25 years while incarcerated, Powerless! I thought to myself, here I am a free man, yet in order to make an honest living I have to take a mandated vaccination shot. I was angry! So angry that I had to go to the park and exercise out some of the negative energy that was now engulfing me. A series of pullups and dips for an hour truly did the trick. I felt blessed as I stared up into the sky during one of my sets of pullups, thinking to myself, how meditating before taking the shot was essential in allowing me to sit and take the shot free of the negative energy I had after the shot. I couldn't "afford" to let my emotions cause me to make a "costly" decision regarding taking the vaccine. My name is Marvin Wade not Kyrie Irving. I don't have millions in the bank to make my choice of sitting this one out a bit more easier to make. Yes, we all do have a choice. But some choices for many can have dire consequences. I often wonder about my coworker that stormed out of the meeting. "Is he doing okay?" "Is he working?" "Will his current job force him to be vaccinated?" I wonder.

On November 10, 2021 I received my second vaccine shot. As with the first, I was pissed afterwards. Went straight to the park once again. This time I did a half hour of squats. It gave me immediate calm.

Over the past few weeks since receiving the second vaccine shot, I've battled internally with the choice I made. To the many people that know I took the shot it was the right choice.

But for me it was the only choice.

As a Black man living here in America the pristine choices afforded to us are limited at best. All other choices are much like the ones given to me at my job. So it hurts at times to know I took the vaccine against my principles. But with this pain at times, also comes solace. The solace comes in the look of relief and joy in the faces of people when they have knowledge of me being vaccinated. Their happiness, brings me happiness. Look, there is a legitimate threat out there. And a reason for people to be afraid. It's called Covid-19. So I respect and understand the feelings of others. As a Spiritual being. A Human being. You must be considerate of others. That I am. And will always be.

I may have wanted to fight this battle a different way. My way. But stubbornly I'm slowly beginning to realize... that I'm not alone in this fight.

Here is my poem titled, "Who do you love?" It was written with the dilemma of being vaccinated or unvaccinated in mind. Hope you enjoy it.