Moments in Time, by Marvin Wade
(revised)
We've been brainwashed to react violently in a second, within a moment, so cold. Programmed to fold and give into our emotions. It's been ingrained in our brains not to think in volatile situations. Not to blink when face to face with a problem. You'll be perceived as weak if you thought for a minute to figure a way out of this. Your second thoughts are instead, "Society Says I don't have much time. So why should I waste it contemplating? The man called me a bitch." The same thoughts now echoed loudly by a friend. Trying his best to move you. To push you. To shove you in the wrong direction. Still in your thoughts, you say to yourself, "My friend is right. I can't let this slide. It’s either ride or die. No other choices in which to live. My only way to survive in this distorted view of life. Thanks, Bro. What would I do without you?"
Got us all wondering the same thing too.
"It’s your move, nigga," said your foe. But is this really a game of chess, when there's no thought process? When the laughter turns to frowns. When everyman wants to stand their ground? How did it flip so quick to this? Witness anticipation lit for what you're about to say. Don't want your manhood questioned again, so you give "pause" a few times after every vile word that you spit. Words that shouldn't hold much weight. But they do. Landing heavy on the crowd as they ooooooo and ahhhhhhhh. "Yeah, you got him good with that." They all laughed. "We never knew him to be a member of the LGBTQ," someone quipped.
So now his pride is on the line. And in his mind, you just stomped and crossed all over it. So ain't no walking it back. And dude refuses to wave the white flag, the rainbow flag, or any flag for that matter. So now it's either your life or his life. No life matters at this time. So you take it. Not the time to reflect. But his last breath. A meaningless death. The penalty phase is next.
Am I really as mean as they portray me? As they parade me before the cameras?
Perp walking. They all scream out guilty. But what about my CoD? He's just as guilty as me. His name…the system! Yeah, I'm telling. I'm yelling it out. It's all in their plan. Got every man in the hood with displaced anger and hate. Irate. So we take the bait, to hurt every muthafucka that's near, within earshot. So we shoot. Giving it to each other like the plague. Spreading the violence till we all dead. That's their goal, their sole purpose it seems. No, I'm certain. I'm so conflicted. Cause I was raised to love you, my Brother. Conditioned to loathe you by others. The system is the true enemy of the Black state. Found this out too fucking late.
They got me locked up in a cell for life. Caged up like some animal pleading with them to knock down these walls and change this place and build a space within. Where I can change my face and be a new Man that's in control of self. No longer the puppet of anyone else. I wanna get healthy and heal. But you'd rather watch me slowly lose it while you get wealthy and seal my fate. Refuse to lose my faith. God, can you hear me as I pray every day to find a pathway out of this hell? I yell, "Can anybody hear me?" I yell, "Did anybody hear me?" I'm yelling…do you hear me?
Marvin Wade is a Spiritual Activist and family Man, born and raised In Brooklyn, NY. Marvin joined the Re/Creation Bed-Stuy writing workshop in 2019, after participating in a writing class being held in Queensboro correctional facility by Professor Joni Schwartz and joining the group upon his release after 25 years. While incarcerated, Marvin wrote multiple books’ worth of stories, novels, and personal essays on every bit of paper he could find, combining his gift as a storyteller with the art of writing. As part of the re/creation workshop Marvin has had numerous dispatches that he's written appear on the website. From titles such as, "The conditioned state of America " to "Time and Prison, are they mutually exclusive?" His poem “Where I’m From” is featured in Voices of Fortune 2020 literary magazine. Marvin also took part in the "We choose to bloom" film as part of a joint venture between Fortune Society and MOMA. Look for many great things to come literary and Spiritually from Mr. Marvin Wade.