Three Pieces by Sammie Werkheiser
The Flower Crown
It's always awesome when you go to the gay bar and the straight man is flirting with you all night, and his wife is somebody who held you captive at the Broome County Jail. And she's pretending that she doesn't know you the whole time, but then the alcohol hits her, and a Madonna song plays, and she sees you dance, and there's no denying how very free that you are in this moment. . . She watches you and she smiles, because hell you can dance. So you take both of her hands in all of your uninhibited freedom, and you dance with her as if she had never worked at the jail, and as if she was never a jerk to you in the past. And she's looking into your eyes and dancing with you, trying to guess if you are as bad as she thought you were. She hasn't decided, but still she's dancing nonetheless. The lesbians in the vicinity are rooting you on, and everyone is transported to 1987 to Madonna's voice. His two friends buy you shots of expensive tequila and Southern Comfort at the bar to her disgruntlement. She still hasn't let on that she knows who you are. The moment of dancing joy passes, and she gets grouchy again and tells her husband that she is tired and now it's time to leave. But really what it is is that you are vibrant and free and she simply can't deal with it. She adjusts the Irish flower crown on her head, and walks out ahead of him while he's reminding you to call his boss, just call that number he gave you, and offering you work. And this my friends is Parade Day in Binghamton, New York.
#cantmakethisup
#iwon
#mygreendressthough
Revenge
My best revenge on the girl who daily bullied me at the Broome County Jail was simply dropping all of my commissary in her lap which totaled $60. It was great because all of the commissary arrived 10 minutes before I got to leave. I did this as I was walking on out to freedom. She just sat there with all of that s*** in her lap and her mouth open, all shocked. I mean what was she going to do not take it? I got the last laugh. Nothing like leaving notepads, envelopes, and ramen noodle soup for the girl who treated you like s*** every single day. Bye, Felecia. Or in this case, a person not named Felicia. One of these days I'm going to write a whole essay on her but today is not the day. Today is the day that I noticed that she has a Facebook page and we have mutual friends. So I will secretly be a hater until further notice.
Miss JW
I used to smuggle jewelry in to prison. It's true. It gave me a thrill and helped make me feel a little free. I would have my friends bring it in and then I would secretly bobby pin the new jewelry under my peasant braid hairstyle. The braids were on top of my head like a crown and I smooshed the jewelry underneath. It didn't make the metal detector go off because the metal detector was a chair that we would sit in and so the top of our head was not included. (Brilliant, I mean really.)
I hid mad jewelry in a jalapeno jar in my cooler and I had lots of earrings and charms, some extra rings too. This eventually became a hustle for me on the inside, getting jewelry for people who wanted it. You ARE allowed three pairs of earrings but that was not enough for me. I got busted for extra jewelry only once because I had too much. I made the mistake of wearing all of my jewelry at once because I was feeling myself. (read: dumb!) I got in this one flashy ring that was huge and I would walk through 113 lobby with it. The officers knew what was up and would tease me, "Stone, where'd you get that ring? Don't be tellin' me you got that thing in the package room." "I sure enough did." "Uh huh." And they would roll their eyes and laugh and I would keep it pushing. I guess most didn't care and maybe thought it was funny. I was constantly making hair accessories from the gems off of Hallmark cards or pulling fake flowers from the church floral arrangements. I was the worst. I lived for any extra accessory that I could make though.
Officer JW eyed that flashy ring one day and snatched it right up like a hot cake! I know she took it home too because there was no record of it in the contraband locker when I reported down there. That punk. We were supposed to get it back and be able to send it home after getting a contraband receipt, but she took it right on home for herself. JW is 10 feet tall and her eyes are three feet tall and covered in electric blue eyeshadow. She is a force. If you know you know. Be glad you don't know. I was always on her good side. This is only because of our mutual love of poetry and I happened to have the cube closest to her desk so she picked my brain a lot.
I asked her months later if she had kept it when we were on the stairs, when it was just the two of us. "Miss JW, did you keep that ring? You KNOW the one. Did you?" She walked extra slow and sassy moving her hips this way and that, and was real extra quiet, did not answer me, and then at the last second looked over her shoulder and smirked like the Chestchire cat. She had it.
I kind of love her and hate her for this. She eventually confiscated a whole batch of jewels from me. That was the day i foolishly decided to wear everything. Man was I mad! Sometimes in the middle of the day I picture her wearing that jewelry and it makes me laugh. I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if I was her. Haha jerk. I bet she has a whole pawn shop full at home. What a punk. She went on to become a Sargeant and she had my back every time in the instances that I needed her. I am sure it was the jewels!
Sammie Werkheiser considers herself a legislative activist and her focus is pregnant women who are incarcerated. She is a member of the the Human Rights Campaign, and Co-Founder of Mothers On the Inside. Her greatest joy is her son Julius, who she gave birth to while serving a 12 years to Life sentence which was overturned. His twin sister, Jacinta Rain, died in Sammie’s arms. She speaks about the inhumane conditions faced by incarcerated individuals in the state of New York. Her personal story was brought to the New York State Assembly floor on March 31st, 2021 by Assembly Member Jessica Gonzalez-Rojas. She is also an advocate for the children of incarcerated parents, and focuses on concerns facing the LGBTQ community. She was recently instrumental in lobbying for the passing of the Halt Solitary Confinement Act, the Less is More Bill, and continues to work for Social Justice reform.